shit happens – a plain English guide to religions and more

TAOISM – if you understand shit, it isn’t shit.

HINDUISM – this shit happened before.

CONFUCIONISM – confucious says “shit happens.”

BUDDHISM – shit will happen to you again.

ZEN – what is the sound of shit happening?

ISLAM – if shit happens, it is the will of allah.

SIKHISM – leave our shit alone.

JEHOVA’S WITNESS – knock knock. shit happens.

ATHEISM – i don’t believe this shit.

AGNOSTICISM – can you prove that shit happens?

CATHOLICISM – if shit happens, you deserve it.

PROTESTANTISM – shit happens, amen to that.

JUDAISM – why does shit always happen to us?

ORTHADOX JUDAISM – so shit happens, already.

TELEVANGELISM – send us money or shit will happen to you.

RASTAFARIANISM – let’s smoke this shit.

HARE KRISHNA – shit happens rama rama.

NATION OF ISLAM – don’t take no shit.

NEW AGE – visualize shit happening.

SHINTOISM – you inherit the shit of your ancestors.

HEDONISM – i love it when shit happens.

SATANISM – sneppah tihs.

CAPITALISM – this is my shit.

FEMINISM – men are shit.

EXISTENSIALISM – what is shit anyway?

SCIENTOLOGY – if shit happens, see dianetics p.137.

MORMONISM – excrement happens(don’t say shit).

BAPTISM – we’ll wash the shit right off you.

MYSTICISM – this is really wierd shit.

VOODOO – shit doesn’t just happen, we made it happen.

DISNEYISM – bad shit doesn’t happen here.

SURREALISM – fish happens.

CYNICISM – we are all full of shit.

TANTRISM – fuck this shit.

HIP-HOP – motherfuck this shiznat beeatch.

STATISTICIAN – shit is 84.7% likely to happen.

AMERICANISM – who gives a shit.

ENVIRONMENTALISM – shit is biodegradable.

FATALISM – oh shit, it’s going to happen.

VEGETARIANISM – if it happens to shit, don’t eat it.

MATERIALISM – whoever dies with the most shit wins.

FAMILY GATHERING – relatives are shit.

EINSTEIN – shit is relative.

POLITICALLY CORRECT – internally proccessed,

NUTRITIONAL – drained biological output happens.

DOG – i just shit in your shoe.

CAT – dogs are shit.

MOUSE – oh shit, a cat!

ACUPUNCTUARIST – hold still or this will hurt like shit.

LAWYERS – for enough money i can get you out of shit.

FREUD – shit is a phallic symbol.

DESCARTES – i shit therefore i am.

SHAKESPEAREAN – to shit or not to shit, that is the question.

TREKISM – to boldly shit where no-one has shit before.

OPTIMISM – shit won’t happen to me.

SUICIDAL – i’ve had enough of this shit.

AMISH – modern shit is useless.

DARWINISM – survival of the shittiest.

PSYCHO-ANYLYSIS – tell me about your shit.


MARXISM – you have nothing to lose but your shit.

COMMUNISM – let’s share the shit.

WICCA – you can make shit happen but shit will happen to you three times.


One Response to “shit happens – a plain English guide to religions and more”

  1. Concerned citizen Says:

    This info includes a mistake. Should be “Politically correct – internally processed, nutritionally drained biological output happens.”

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