Breaking news: Startling revelation.

This is official, boys and girls, Santa Claus is insane. I have suspected as much all these years but without evidence. Who, in their right mind, would live in the north pole of all places and wear a ridiculous red outfit? And what kind of old bloke would break into other people’s houses at night not to take away stuff but give away stuff???
For you people out there who didn’t get any presents this Christmas, this is the reason. Don’t blame your ma and da, at least yet, for Santa was unceremoniously detained until further notice due to his, um…apparent, insanity.
For the parents, I think you should stop relying on Santa to give your children presents from now on.

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